Originally written October 15th, 2006

I’ve really been struggling to find the reason behind fandom. Not the act of being a fan itself, but what it entails. Sure, people can like something and then try and be apart of it: that’s being a fan. But when people start decorating there houses soley with their favorite football team’s posters: that’s fandom. Why do people feel the need to do this? Are the football players going to come to their redneck house one day and say how awesome of a fan he is for buying a couple $2.99 posters and a wearing a sweater with their faded logo on it. Maybe it’s to show off, or maybe it’s to try to impress other fans; if so, your just as lame and tired as that faded sweater you are wearing to show off your interest to others.

Here’s an example of how fandom interferes with logical thinking. On MSN, I had seen somebody write in their MSN name: “Way to go Sundin, 500 goals!”. Sure, you are showing your support, but to who? You obviously don’t have Sundin your MSN, and you most likely will never, ever, meet Sundin. So what benefit does this have? Again, it’s really just to show off to other people, so maybe they will start a conversation with you. You may as well change your name to “It’s pretty good weather we are having today!”. You might actually even get more remarks about it.

People gather around at bars and at homes to watch the sunday game. This night is filled with chip eating, beer drinking, and yelling at the television for a couple hours. Who are you yelling at? Are they going to hear you? Even if you were actually at the game in the front row they probably wouldn’t be able to hear you and your fatass anyway. Although I do admit, it’s a lot more respectable and logical to participate in a real life audience. At least you are filling a seat and cheering that can be noticed as a whole to the players.

“COME ON, WHAT WAS THAT?”
Oh now your a football coach, as if you could, if you had the chance, do a better job than a professional football player. Sure buddy, just keep sucking those beer back and adding to your gut. There’s a reason why you’re watching the football game instead of playing it.

“YA!!! TOUCHDOWN!”
I’ve seen a person saying this alone when they thought nobody was watching and with a group at a party. I can’t tell which is sadder. On one hand, you truly are talking to yourself, and on the second hand, if you’re doing it at a party, you are just trying to show off and see how cool you are for liking the underdog team or something. Maybe just be an interesting person instead of trying to get attention by yelling at a television screen? I don’t know, maybe that’s just my twisted thinking.

Another thing is the hostility between opposing fans. Two people with different favorite hockey teams are sometimes worst enemies just for the fact they cheer for a different team. It doesn’t matter that they don’t even know one another, they already hate each other. A lot of sport bar fights probably start like this. This isn’t just a sport thing either. Playstation fans hate Xbox fans that hate Nintendo fans. It’s a vicious hate circle based on the fact each side it too stupid and arrogant to take other people’s point of views into consideration. Who gives a shit if you think Microsoft is money hungry, or that the Gamecube is a kiddy system, or that the Playstation has shitty graphics. Is your deluded perception going to change anything except drive you deeper into a social stereotype?

Note: My views and opinion on things have changed since writing this in 2006.

Originally written July 6th, 2006

As a kid, I was always questioning things; I was and still am a very curious person. Faith and religion were one thing (or two things) that I never questioned because my mother told me that’s how it was, and I had no reason to think otherwise. I grew older and seen how wrong that ideology actually was. There in fact was a reason to think otherwise and in fact my religion: christianity was not the only religion out there to my surprise. I later learned that Christianity was not the oldest and definitely not the most plausible or logical to me anymore.

I grew a little more and realized that all organized religion had no bearing in my life, and had nothing to offer me. I chose not to live my life based on faith and hope. I chose to live life realistically, questioning, scientifically, rationally, and most important, logically. I continued to keep the idea of “God” in the back of my mind however. I still “prayed” when I wanted something to happen, or wanted something not to happen. That’s the way i was told to help solve my life problems. Although it did comfort me, it was obviously worthless, as it never solved anything, it maybe even had a negative effect on the situation. Later, I chose to ditch the idea all together.

I then discovered that I was now grouped in a category named atheists. But my questioning mind didn’t stop there. I then tried to question, well, how did we all get here? How did this all start? Although I believe in what modern science and physics has proven about the Big Bang, the universe itself, and evolution, there still remains the lingering question: Well then what is the meaning of life?

I then realized this is why there is religion and faith in the first place. This question cannot be answered, so we have to invoke spiritual deities and other pseudo higher powers to instill us with some comfort and reassurance that this life is meaningful. But I then realized this isn’t an answer, it’s a blindfold, it’s just an excuse to cover up the question itself.

The fact is that this life on this planet has all been formed by a chain of events that lead to the eventual creation of atmosphere and sustainable life. Scientifically it all makes sense. But pseudo scientists (usually backed with their own religious agenda) continue to force beliefs on the general public that make no sense. Our universe is so vast, so huge that we don’t even know how big, or how vast it really is, not for sure anyways. There is at least another 200 billion galaxies besides ours. Why limit yourself to the idea that a God created us, and only us. There is other life forms out there, maybe wondering the same thing we are.

Now I am grouped into a generalization called “nihilist”. Before I even knew what nihilism was, I was already executing the chain to this belief since childhood. I am fine with this. Even though my life is bleak, and meaningless by nature, I am no longer blind, I have no force controlling my life. I am free to do whatever I want with my limited time.