May 10th, 2007Chain To Nihilism

Note: My views and opinion on things have changed since writing this in 2006.

Originally written July 6th, 2006

As a kid, I was always questioning things; I was and still am a very curious person. Faith and religion were one thing (or two things) that I never questioned because my mother told me that’s how it was, and I had no reason to think otherwise. I grew older and seen how wrong that ideology actually was. There in fact was a reason to think otherwise and in fact my religion: christianity was not the only religion out there to my surprise. I later learned that Christianity was not the oldest and definitely not the most plausible or logical to me anymore.

I grew a little more and realized that all organized religion had no bearing in my life, and had nothing to offer me. I chose not to live my life based on faith and hope. I chose to live life realistically, questioning, scientifically, rationally, and most important, logically. I continued to keep the idea of “God” in the back of my mind however. I still “prayed” when I wanted something to happen, or wanted something not to happen. That’s the way i was told to help solve my life problems. Although it did comfort me, it was obviously worthless, as it never solved anything, it maybe even had a negative effect on the situation. Later, I chose to ditch the idea all together.

I then discovered that I was now grouped in a category named atheists. But my questioning mind didn’t stop there. I then tried to question, well, how did we all get here? How did this all start? Although I believe in what modern science and physics has proven about the Big Bang, the universe itself, and evolution, there still remains the lingering question: Well then what is the meaning of life?

I then realized this is why there is religion and faith in the first place. This question cannot be answered, so we have to invoke spiritual deities and other pseudo higher powers to instill us with some comfort and reassurance that this life is meaningful. But I then realized this isn’t an answer, it’s a blindfold, it’s just an excuse to cover up the question itself.

The fact is that this life on this planet has all been formed by a chain of events that lead to the eventual creation of atmosphere and sustainable life. Scientifically it all makes sense. But pseudo scientists (usually backed with their own religious agenda) continue to force beliefs on the general public that make no sense. Our universe is so vast, so huge that we don’t even know how big, or how vast it really is, not for sure anyways. There is at least another 200 billion galaxies besides ours. Why limit yourself to the idea that a God created us, and only us. There is other life forms out there, maybe wondering the same thing we are.


Now I am grouped into a generalization called “nihilist”. Before I even knew what nihilism was, I was already executing the chain to this belief since childhood. I am fine with this. Even though my life is bleak, and meaningless by nature, I am no longer blind, I have no force controlling my life. I am free to do whatever I want with my limited time.

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