July 19th, 2009The Fashion Faux Pas

Originally written October 5th, 2006

Since when is it appropriate to wear a filthy, stained white shirt that looks to be covered in the remnants of lunch from a constant seven days of wear out in public? Let’s not even get into mentioning those 10 year old Budweiser sweatpants with holes in all the wrong places. Like was this ensemble seriously the best that he had for a public display? I mean, you would think that he would have a cleaner dirty shirt to wear out so at least he didn’t look as bad as he smelled.

Then there’s the people with the ripped pants and clothing revealing parts of them that shouldn’t be revealed. This mostly goes for the fatter types of people, but do you seriously think that over-tight tank top makes you look good? Some of the fat hanging off the sides of these people oddly resembles dough from a bakery. I’d sometimes just like to cut it off and see if I could bake a pizza or something. And do they seriously think nobody will notice the giant hole in the ass of their pants? Especially when they bend over to get the freshest milk at the local supermarket, struggling to grab the newest milk cartoon at the back. You’re probably going to drink it all that night anyways when you eat a whole box of cookies in your sad, depressive state.


The makeup is another issue with a lot of these 80’s rejects hanging around the stores. Ya, maybe it was alright to douse your face with green and blue eye shadow and wear the hugest earrings you could find to cover up your bruises, 15 years ago. But nobody wears makeup like that anymore, except maybe models on the runway, but face it, your no model. Can you look at the calender every once in awhile and realize that it’s not 1985, and you aren’t listening to Cyndi Lauper anymore (well maybe you are, and that’s the problem). And what’s with the pants of these women? I find it hard to believe anybody had that high of pants in the 80’s and 90’s, but I guess it has to be true. These women put Steve Urkel to shame.